Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
