What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize
