Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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