If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
