I will die if light touches me.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Randomize
