I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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