All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
