Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
