Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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