and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
