Will you blow on my dice?
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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