I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
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