i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
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