Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
