I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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