I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
