You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
