the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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