I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
