Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
We had sex on a dog bed..
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
