have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize
