I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
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the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
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It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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