At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
