I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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