U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
