Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Randomize
