We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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