Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
