Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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