yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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