I've blown a few things in my day
you didnt know i had herpes?
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
