I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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