Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
