dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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