Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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