is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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