Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
