Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
