Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're like a gay fantastic four
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
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