just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
