you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
