you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
