and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
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