My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
