Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
sex in a hospital.. check
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Randomize
