Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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