kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
