well I can't set my house on fire every night
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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