I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
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