Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
