Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
