whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
