Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
