It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
