New invention idea: vibrating tampons
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
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