The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
