i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Randomize
