did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
