the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
