Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
