hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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