I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I don't think brook has ever known best
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
