Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
