shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
