kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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